May 5, 2013

Birthday Boy turned 10

                                 

It's a quiet May morning and the birds are just beginning to chirp. Love those mockingbirds and the quiet of this neighborhood high on the flanks of Mt. Lukens. We're close enough to the Angeles Forest that a mountain lion was found a half mile away a couple weeks ago. Close enough, too, that we need a fire plan in the event of a brush fire. What would I take? What IS irreplaceable? Do I keep photos and passports in a separate spot so I can grab and run? I don't think our house is in that much danger, but still, it's good to think ahead.

This house is great, but it has consumed me and a good portion of my personal life and relationships. And money. There is no other way to put it. I know so many wonderful people, and yet it has been months and months since I've seen them. I do love people and love to socialize, yet things seem to take priority, the things needing doing on this house to complete it. My “To Do” list shrinks ever so slowly. I has 53 items on it a few months ago, and that was without even looking outside. I've knocked off ten or so, but there's a few things I missed. I laughed when watching a show on HGTV in bed the other night: the husband of a couple selling their house confessed that he had not finished the molding on a room he'd remodeled 16 years previous. I got another laugh when relating this story to a friend I ran into at a school dinner. She said her father hadn't finished the molding on a house he built 30 years ago!

Well. It will happen. I will finish the molding by Christmas or sooner. Part of the problem is that I'm fussy about it, and haven't seen exactly what I want at Home Depot or the molding shop, so I'll have to make it myself. Or maybe the molding shop had it, but I didn't want to pay $500. I guess I'm cheap. Cheap one minute and generous the next. Social one day and hermit-like the next. And on and on.

One barrier to finishing the house has dropped considerably. My headaches. Anyone who knows me well knows how often I have had them in the past. And it's hard to take up a hammer or tools and work when you don't feel well. I've had a headache breakthrough, though. It's been amazing, even if I feel like an idiot that it took so long to figure this out. I got so fed up with headaches that I resolved to live on bread and water until I could figure out what food item(s) was causing me so many headaches. I have a bread machine and often made bread, often twice a week or more because I love fresh bread so much. Well, even bread and water didn't do it. Bread turned out to be a big part of the problem. More specifically, yeast. If I have any product containing live yeast (fresh bread, fresh pizza, fresh bagels, fresh raised donuts, etc) I get a headache. After the item cools off or is refrigerated, no problem. Once I figured that out, I added rice to my diet. Plain white rice. No problem. I started branching out, making rice pilaf in various forms. Headaches came back. Hunh? All I did was add a little onion and a touch of some spices. Could onion be causing me headaches? I was skeptical, but the answer is a very definite “Yes”. Doing a little research on the internet I found that info on the website of an English pain reliever. Onions are definitely a headache trigger for some people. I was dubious, but tried onions again and again and got headaches again and again. Damn!

Okay, so then I made a nice vegetable soup without onion. All organic; organic beef, organic veggies and Better Than Bullion beef bullion. Headache. What? How could this be? Well, it turns out that a major ingredient of the beef bullion is yeast extract. It's in most chicken bullion and stock, too.

So my headaches are much better. I still get them from too much fruit or veggies, believe it or not, and a long list of other things (the usual nuts, chocolate, alcohol, aged anything, buttermilk and a dozen other things). I hate that I have this awful body makeup that doesn't allow me to eat so many things, but I am happy to feel better now. Very happy.

Back to the house, briefly. Maybe I can pass off part of the blame to not being further along on girlfriend Judy (Caldeira). She never freaked over the dust and chaos. That was always a plus. Maybe if she'd been more fussy and demanding I'd be a little quicker to do things or pay to have them done. But then we might not have fit so well overall. Who knows? In any event, Judy moved in 3 months ago and it's been great. Easier for me than her, probably. She had to get rid of a lot of things and conform her life to mine, tossing a lot of things along the way. I got told off a time or two when suggesting that certain things could be disposed off. Oops. The most conflict yet in our relationship. Oh, well. The better part of a truckload of stuff went to Goodwill. I think it helped a lot that I could give Judy a room for herself, an office, and helped her paint it in a color scheme of her choosing. We have 5 bedrooms now with the new 2^nd floor, so it was an easy call on my part. I wanted her to be comfortable here and would do anything to achieve that.

On a personal level it's been great, too. Judy is good with Jack and we have a lot of fun. Most of the conflict in this house is over schoolwork. Jack is slow to start and works slowly. In school, too. This creates problems at school because his teacher assigns work and lets the kids work on their own during a good part of the school day. It doesn't help that Jack is also forgetful. He was supposed to take a test at school on books he's read recently, a test he does on his own, but keeps forgetting. And forgetting.

And I'm going crazy. I wonder what's going to become of him, what career and life path he will take.

I plant seeds here and there, but who knows if those will ever take fruit? Jack has a great disposition and empathy. Maybe Nursing...

May 17, 5 am

I got Jack an ant farm a month ago and he spent a lot of time watching the ants, telling me what they were doing and sometimes why. His theories may not hold up under professional review, but no matter. We catch quite a few bugs around here, and each is interesting in Jack's eye. I don't tell him which ones I kill immediately (most!). We seem to have plenty of spiders and crickets. Even I was interested in a green spider with hairy legs last week. Out it went, though. I've been thinking about a terrarium lately. What do we put in it besides a turtle?

May 4^th was Jack's 10th birthday, so we celebrated by taking a couple of Jack's friends to Universal Studios. I had never been and it had been many years since Judy went, so we all had an interest. I bought some discount tickets from a Universal employee, prominently stamped “Not For Resale”. A little cheaper than the $85 the studio charges, but still not cheap. We all had a good time, but at least two of us won't need to go back for another ten years or so.

Ten years old. It's been 10 years since Andrea and I drove on short notice to Daly City to pick up a bundle with our name attached. What a bundle! I love that little guy so much. He's almost 5 ft tall already, though. I'll have to wake him in a few minutes for a class trip to Santa Barbara. Has to be at school at 6:45. He's allowed to bring an electronic device today, so I'll give him an “old” phone that has some games on it, but only on the return trip. The camera works, too. Let's see what he sees, what pictures he takes.

May 20, 4 am

Couldn't sleep any more today. Lots to think about, I guess.

We went on a half-day boat trip yesterday, from Oxnard to Anacapa island. Judy arranged the trip as a birthday treat for Jack. We had wonderful weather: clear blue skies and high 70's, with a gentle breeze. It was great to get back on the ocean. Dolphin made an early appearance and reappeared several times during the day. At one point there were dozens around the boat. I took several photos, but the phone camera's slow reaction made getting a decent shot difficult. One photo came out well enough to include, although still not great. Dolphin never lose that magic...

We also saw lots of seals, a few sea otter and a sea lion or two basking on the island. The island is very picturesque, if you are not familiar with it. Long (just under 5 miles), narrow, rocky and steep. Uninhabited, except for a hermit 100 years ago, and a few hikers with special permits and a guide.

Jack was interested enough to ask the volunteer guide aboard a few questions about whales, but was mostly content to watch dolphin and hang out with other kids.

Our pool officially opened Saturday. The water temp was only 74 degrees, but Jack and Vincent, a hardy 4^th grader from up the street wanted to swim anyway. So they did. Twice. I want water temperature 10 degrees warmer, but lesson learned. I shouldn't allow my own prejudices to sway them.

What other prejudices am I infecting Jack with? Few, I hope, and good ones, at that.

I could write more, but it's almost 7 now. I slept for an hour, took a walk with Judy and now it's time to get Jack up and get on with the day.

Merry Christmas to all

I started writing a regular Christmas card five minutes before the Newtown shooting, then couldn't even think of writing for a few days. When I did get in the mood again and get around to writing, I wrote a Christmas poem, then deleted that by mistake when trying an unfamiliar newsletter format. So then I got irritated  and wrote the whole thing off, at least temporarily, because of a press to do a dozen other things. So, no letter and no card, but I still wish you all well.

All is well here, and we are both still healthy. How long that status will remain, who knows? A couple days ago the teller at the bank confessed she had come down with something just as she was counting out my money.  An hour later, a clerk at one store coughed into his hand (and my change) as he handed back my money. I immediately went looking for sanitizing hand lotion and a place to wash my hands. Arrrgh!!! Oh, well. We are still healthy, nonetheless. Work on the house continues slowly in my own fashion. I am tiling around the Jacuzzi in the master bath later today and putting up a new shower door  tomorrow. After that, mostly little things remain, door casing, molding and such. Actually the molding could take a solid week of work, but I'll probably break it up into one room at a time. Next  month (?) I'll tackle the final room re-do, a downstairs bathroom, but this will be simple. Landscaping outdoors can wait until Spring. In any event, I am moved into the new Master Bedroom, which is carpeted and has furniture. I've been searching Craigslist regularly for three weeks looking for elements of my PAX closet system from Ikea. I have almost everything I need now. I may have to cut down a couple things, but no matter. I look forward to it, actually.  I have to fight my inherited tendencies towards disorganization and chaos every hour of every day, but we all have issues.

In lieu of work today I am dragging my slide projector out and will show jack and Judy some slides of my trip and old family slides if I can get my act together. I couldn't find the VHS copy of old family 8mm movies when I looked yesterday. That would be fun, too. Jack is now better able to appreciate old family stuff. I am thrilled that he's started reading my old copies of Reminisce magazine in the last two weeks. It is not a sophisticated magazine, but it has great value in bringing the past to life through all its reader written stories and submitted photos. If he takes an interest in my American Heritage magazines I will be a happy man. I have all the issues going back to 1954. 

Judy is with two of her three kids this morning, but she'll be back for a midday dinner. All's well with Us. We snuggled and talked for an hour in bed yesterday before getting up, which is a gift by itself. We don't always have the time, or I get up at 5 and she sleeps. You'll find us by the fire most evenings, as it's been cool or cold and rainy a lot lately. We may book a Fall cruise through her Princess discounts. Have to take Jack out of school for that, but I think he can take some work with him. We'll see.

Jack is happy not to be in school. He said he wanted to stay up all night one night, so the first day of this vacation I let him try. I took a pillow and blanket and slept on the couch while he played various games on the computer. At 2:45 he decided he had enough. Of course he wants to do that again, but I told him it wasn't going to happen for a long time.  I will have him start on some extra school stuff tomorrow just to improve some skills and give him something to do an hour or two a day. He found an art/drawing program pre-installed on his computer and was working on that yesterdayt. Hooray! (The attached picture was taken last week before tree decorating). One gift I am giving him is a comics creation program for the computer. We'll see how that works.

I should get on with things here.

Enjoy your day and the last few days of 2012.

Vacation 2012 - 1st Draft

Most vacations seem to go by all too quick. Jack, Judy and I got back from two weeks in the East last night at 1 am, but this time it didn’t seem short at all. Maybe that was because we tried to do a lot in a short amount of time (seven stops in four states). Or maybe it was because we had a little more drama than we wanted at times.

To begin, a connecting flight from Denver on our first day was delayed 5 hours, then cancelled. No seats were available to La Guardia on any flight the rest of the day not long after the long line of passengers queuing for other flights had even formed. That prompted a change from La Guardia to Philadelphia, which was fine--maybe even better, because that’s where we had B&B reservations and intended to stay the night. Only problem was that it meant a change in car reservations, which Hotwire doesn’t allow and wouldn’t refund. So that battle began.  And, Hertz would charge an additional $500 or so. Starting any vacation potentially $1100 in the hole isn’t recommended, but sometimes you have to roll with the punches. Unfortunately, we got punched again. Frontier Airlines lost our luggage for two days. So bought a few things and never let it crimp our senses of humor. Have to say Judy was great then and great all through whatever came our way. Jack? He didn’t care. He was content with a look at the Liberty Bell, something to drink and something to eat--preferably pizza. No problem finding that in Philadelphia.

In Philadelphia we met up with Judy’s father’s wife of many years Nancy, and Nancy’s colorful son Colin (and his girlfriend Ashley), a machinist and member of the National Guard. Colin couldn’t get his high riding pick-up truck in the parking garage adjacent to our Old Philadelphia B&B, but he found a spot somewhere nearby.  

While in Philadelphia (I can’t say “Philly”) we did the Duckboat tour of the old city and harbor and walked a lot. Far too much for Jack’s liking, but par for the course for me. We ate our way through the city, trying several cuisines, including Cuban. I got up at 6 one day and walked a mile and a half each way for fresh baked soft-pretzels straight from the bakery. Bus service can be spotty if you don’t know the routes, I guess. I’m crazy about soft pretzels, but maybe you already guessed that.

After a couple days in Philadelphia we drove to Rome, NY with a brief stop in Williamsport, PA to see my cousin Joe Leavens’ knitting factory, Phoenix Trimworks. Phoenix makes trim fabric for the furniture and related industries. Joe gave us a tour, which was great. We also saw some upholstery fabric made by his business partner in North Carolina. Really liked those, and would love to be able to go back to his Wiliamsport factory store and buy fabric, should I want to recover or make something again.  

On to Rome and an evening dinner with John at the venerable Beeches restaurant before seeing Mother the next day at Terraces, an assisted living residence. Mother lives in a secured wing for people with memory issues. She was in good spirits and happy to spend part of the day with us seeing a little countryside and having lunch at a pleasant Clinton, NY restaurant, plus a little more sightseeing later.

Had dinner Thursday night with a wonderful assortment of 13 old classmates and husbands or wives of classmates who came just to see me. I was SO surprised and expected a much smaller gathering. In fact I’d warned Judy there may only be a couple people at the dinner. I’d never made it to a reunion before, mostly because of Andrea’s health issues, so it was a wonderful evening of friendship, reminiscing and circle closing.
Such a pleasure in so many ways. 

Saw Mother again the next day, The Ft, Stanwix park, a lock on the canal, Mother’s stalwart friend Georgie; did some go-kart driving with Jack, and ate more donuts. Again.

Friday was on to brother Rich and his island in the St. Lawrence River, but not before a long slow drive through farm country and a stop for lunch at a beautiful spot along the river at Alexandria Bay, NY. The river looks great at that spot under blue skies. Greenery on the islands and all around, with Boldt Castle and a gi-normous and beautiful boathouse on nearby islands dominating the view.

Rich’s island looks good despite a liberal brushing with Canada Geese poop along the shoreline. We fished, caught nothing, but caught up with Rich and saw large fish in the water. Next time maybe we’ll get one? 

 Masschusetts was next after a day’s drive, but first we stopped in Rome again to say goodbye to mother. After that we stopped at my boyhood home outside of Rome. Current owner John Rossi was home and showed us around all four floors (if you include walk down basement and walk-up attic. John has fixed up the crumbling old house and continues to make it more livable. He mentioned several times how happy he and his family was with the house, neighbors, school district and area. SO nice to hear. So nice.


Liz and Gabe’s home on an old farm in the hills of Western Massachusetts is pretty much unchanged and beautiful and way out in the woods. Bears are not uncommon. Wild Turkeys are, which are quite a sight to someone from Los Angeles. Speaking of sights, when it was clear we could see for miles across the hills. Also saw the International Space Station one night after reading an article in the paper about where and when it would pass in the sky overhead. Cool.

Picked lots of blueberries and raspberries at The Farm. Jack played a number of chess games with Gabe and got re-energized about chess. I’ve seen him playing many times since on the Ipad. 

Still, Liz and Gabe are the main attraction, so it was great catching up. We had some great food and played Boggle for at least an hour each night. Judy was absent for a couple days visiting her son and grandson in Connecticut. Jack and I busied ourselves with a little sightseeing (dinosaur tracks nearby are preserved in mud (which became stone over many millions of years). Took in the movie “Brave” when rain threatened and generally kept local donut makers busy. The Donut Dip in Springfield claims to have 50 varieties, but we only sampled 30 or so.

After leaving Liz and Gabe (picture of the three of us was taken just before leaving) we enjoyed a leisurely drive through Connecticut, which is also beautiful. Saw Judy’s son for dinner and coffee (at a donut shop, of course). I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone with adult children, so this is all new to me. I suspect all three kids are a little wary of me, an unknown quantity, so I guess my job is just to keep silent and be patient.  Eventually they will come to know that I am no threat to their relationship with Mom and treat her as well as one person can treat another. My mother attached herself so much to 2nd husband Bob that she lost her own identity somewhat, so I want to avoid that, or even the appearance. Judy’s kids can have her alone anytime, as far as I’m concerned. Her happiness over time will, I hope, win the day. 

Judy had arranged for us to stay at an Inn on Long Island Sound at Westport. Loved that, but I think there were some weird spores in the room air conditioner. They attacked me at 3 in the morning and never left for the next few days. Never had an allergy in my life, so now I know what it‘s like to have a constantly running nose and sneeze through the day.

Our next stop was outside Poughkeepsie for a barbecue and a visit with  Judy's old friends Debbie and Lindsay (and spouses). Jack got to shoot a BB gun and enjoyed hanging out with Lindsay’s husband. He’s a former glassblower and interested in many things. (Sound familiar?) Both the ladies and their husbands were interesting and fun to talk to.

Had a nice swim at our hotel that evening and moved on to NYC the next day. Saw Times Square and tried to rent a boat at Central Park, but for some reason the boathouse was closed. Oh, well. Rode another boat, the Staten Island Ferry, for less money and enjoyed it just as much. Plus, you can’t see the Statue of Liberty from Central Park! Went out to Coney island on a long subway trip from our hotel. The trip took almost two hours but was made shorter by some great people watching and a NY Times. Coney Island beach was great and the rides are fun, but expensive. A ride lasting 3 or 4 minutes costs $4 to $6. Jack isn’t a big ride person and was thankfully happy with just a couple rides.  Judy went on the log flume ride with him, but didn’t get too wet.

More problems on the flight back home later that day: issues checking in, then had to pay more money for the flight for some reason (minor, just an annoyance) and then found out they gave Jack's and my seat to someone else. We were seated elsewhere, though, thankfully, but not after an ever-so-slightly embarassing wait on the plane. We did receive our bags at the carousel. Hallelujah! Any checked bag is “Excess baggage”, by the way, for which they charge $20. What can you do? Our flights were on time and the 6 hours or so in the air went pretty quickly, thanks to the tv in the seatback ahead of us., food and games (Jack).

Judy never lost her composure or sense of humor through the whole trip, which was lovely to see and experience. After 10 months together without an argument of any kind I pretty much knew we could travel well together, but we have never been constantly with each other 24/7 for more than a couple days. That was going to be a  test, but she--and we--passed that with flying colors, I’m happy to report. Both of us are going to be overwhelmed with work in the near future. Judy recently got a promotion into a different department at Carnival/Princess/Holland America, so she feels pressure to get comfortable in that new position, as well as helping out some to keep her old department from sinking. Eventually the old department and its managers will have to survive on their own, of course. But. Knowing how much Judy puts into her work I had a hunch they would miss her Big Time, and so far I’m right.

I have a number of jobs piled up and lots more to do to get the 2nd floor finished, inspected and livable. Target date for Judy to move in is September 1st. It’s going to be a busy summer.

May 2012
May 6 (Note) "Blogger seems to want to run all my paragraphs together, so don't blame me. It even takes out the line spaces I insert, which is odd) Jack is in the bathtub, so I have a few minutes to write. He turned 9 on Friday and we had a birthday party for him Saturday at out house that turned out great. It was a laser-tag party, with Jack plus 11 friends. A guy came and set up the front yard with a blow up tank and a bunch of obstacles (see photos). Teams were selected, rounds played, teams re-formed and more rounds. Lots of yelling and fun. Did I mention lots of yelling? Pretty constant. Adults conversed happily inside while boys shouted and battled outside, though. I had little to do except order pizza and show people around the new upstairs addition . A great party. No drama, tears, fussing or pouting. Jack did tell me he didn’t want to wear “fancy” clothes when I told him he had to change for the party. Fair enough. My work actually began on Friday with a lengthy cleanup of construction debris. When the dumptruck was full, I began hauling away large clumps of stucco that had dropped while the crew were doing the second floor. What a mess. In some places it was 3 inches thick and almost like concrete. Using a wheelbarrow I dumped it all off the edge of the hill, thus helping to increase the size of my level pad on our hillside perch. I would have had the crew do the cleanup but they were working on drywall and I didn’t want to stop that process. Drywall is supposed to be done Monday, but that means Tuesday. Then it’s my turn to step up and start doing all the molding and trim work, tile, flooring, electrical fixtures, painting and a host of other things. I hope to get it all done in a few months, even if I have to hire people to help me. I’m ready for a permament home instead of a house with boxes everywhere and dust, dust, dust. Girlfriend Judy Caldeira will be moving in once things are ready. Can’t wait for that. She’s great to have around. Having had three kids, she isn't fazed by Jack's occasional truculence when he doesn't want to do something different than he's doing. Like stop playing a video game to go to Costco, or do anything different than what he's doing. If he's playing Legos, he wants to STAY playing Legos. Anyway, we currently have Judy Wednesday nights and weekends. I'm looking forward to having her with us full time. April 29 The weekend is drawing to a close, but it was mostly a pleasant one, with Judy C. here as usual. Got some work done on a bathroom and went vanity hunting at a new store in the Valley. Didn’t find what I wanted, alas. I know where I can find a good one, and at a discount, at that, but I’m always looking for a bargain. Unfortunately, bargains don’t come with matching cabinetry. Jack got a "Student of the Month" award at school on Friday. It wasn't an academic award, but any award is good in my book. I'd have a picture, except I'm having issues with an outdated USB cable. April 25, 2012 Jack is playing Super Mario with two friends tonight and I’m avoiding sorting through a large bin of electronic cables and a mishmash (hyphenated?) of other electronic stuff. Also avoiding putting away some dishes in the sink. At least they are clean. Where would I be without small triumphs? Where would I be without playing one chore against another? I have to say that all is reasonably well in the Brothers household. We have issues, but life is not dragging us down. Some of those issues include a never-ending stream of homework five days a week for Jack. Homework seems to take longer for him to do for whatever reason. I believe it took him a half-hour last night to write one long or two short sentences about what he feels about the book he is reading. And he likes the book! He’s just not great at putting feelings into words. I was pleased to see him reading past the proscribed half-hour a day a couple times. And he seems interested in the author’s other book, about a black family that happened to be traveling through Birmingam, Alabama in 1963. Of course I surreptitiously ordered a used copy of the book from Amazon 11 seconds after he mentioned that interest. We’re also getting through some sample state tests of reading comprehension and math. Jack got 18 of 20 questions right on a sample section last night--and a couple of those questions I may have missed myself. Those state tests start for real next week. Jack went on a class trip to Descanso Gardens last week. I told him there would be no dessert that night if he couldn’t name at least two flowers that he’d seen during the day. He passed. And mentioned that the tour was led by Dutch people. Interesting, I thought, but then had the nagging feeling that he might have made a mistake. Descanso is about as Dutch as the Alamo. “Dutch people?” I asked. “Well, their name starts with “D”” he said. “Maybe “docents” I asked. “Yeah”, he responded. “That’s it” Too bad. I kind of wanted there to have been actual Dutch people.

May 2012

December 2011 (How's that for a creative heading?)

6 am in a house with no heat is a good way to start a Charles Dickens story, but a poor way to start a Christmas letter. Things worked out okay in A Christmas Carol, though, and I’m pretty sure things will work out okay for us eventually, too, despite the current travails that have come with adding a second floor to the house. In the meantime we huddle before the fireplace or stove, or drag around a portable heater (such as at my feet just now), and endure. And though the70mph winds on our hillside house were awful last week, ripping off limbs and the nailed down tarp covering our exposed second floor; and the rains have me up checking on large puddles in the tarp or placing buckets around the house, we haven’t had wind AND rain at the same time. I am thankful for that-- and for so much more. We’ll get a roof on the house in a week or two, a furnace a couple weeks after that. By summer we should have a mostly new house. That’s a dangerous prediction to make, so maybe I should say by next Christmas and play it safe. I am still finishing a bathroom that I thought would be done in July, so I should know. I DO know. Changes, uncertainty, work, homework, headaches, Jacktivities and a few other factors delayed me. That’s life. Life is change. One of my bigger changes is the likelihood that I will not be fixing up the house selling it after a few years and moving on. It now seems likely that we will be staying here, but more about that later.
Jack has been pretty patient through it all and can occupy himself for good periods of time, but he has definitely exceeded the American Pediatric Association’s guidelines for TV and video game time. I got the benefit of more work time, but what will the price be down the road? I hope it’s not too heavy. When I was his age I was heavily into comic books, Boys Life and a series of short, biographical books, but Jack is Jack. He is a reluctant reader unless it’s a book collection of Calvin and Hobbes. He can busy himself with Legos or doing nothing, but every half-hour I still hear “I’m hungry”. Every. Half. Hour.
When people ask me how Jack is doing, my pat answer is “Fine, as long as he has a playdate everyday and a constant stream of food”. Not having siblings and being a social animal, Jack always wants to be around people. I try to accommodate him on this, for it also gives me more time to work on the house. Those playdates tend to be on weekends or Friday afternoon because during the week he is either occupied with homework , karate class, or stays after school until 6 two days a week. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of time leftover. I don’t remember that much homework in 3rd grade, but then again it seems I don’t remember anything that well anymore. In any event, Jack was at a birthday ice skating party yesterday and had a good time despite some falls and tears at one point. He said he had a good time and I’m told he went back out on the ice a second time despite the tears. That’s a great metaphor: Life is hard, you cry, you get back up and keep going. Repeat a thousand times.
Jack’s latest report cards have been so-so in a few subjects, so I have begun a program of more homework and earlier bedtimes. I erred in letting Jack stay up later just because he seems to be a nightowl and awakes fairly easily. His teacher mentioned that he wasn’t staying focused in class, and one day Jack said he was “tired” in class. Bing! Lights went off in my head. So the earlier bedtime and daily grading on class participation and focus is helping. The last two days he got four 5 out of 5 ratings, so I’m encouraged. And whatever happens in class, Jack is still a caring, empathetic and happy soul who fills my heart in some way every day and everyway some days.
The year has seen some reverses, unfortunately. Mother entered an assisted living facility, had a stroke, and is now in the memory-impaired unit of the same facility. She’s 90 and had been doing pretty well up until the last year. She’s improved some since her stroke, and will keep improving, I hope.
Another setback was when sister- in-law Steph got a diagnosis of breast cancer. She has one more chemo session to endure, then radiation follows in a month or so. Regular exams helped catch the cancer at an early stage, so the prognosis is excellent. Steph says she doesn’t know how Andrea endured so many chemo sessions over the years and kept on working. I don’t either.
Compared to cancer and death, other “setbacks” seem trivial. And they are. Like the original construction schedule for our house called for most of the work to be done by Christmas. It’s not. Not even close. Stud walls went up just a couple days ago and still we have no roof, so obviously there’s a long way to go. I will finish the rooms upstairs once the contractor does his thing. Maybe by next Christmas I’ll be done. In the meantime, living with constant dust, rain buckets and a good part of our belongings stashed in piles of boxes is a tribulation, but one we can endure. In fact, compared to cancer or the problems other people around the world face daily, it’s a lark.
On the Plus side of the balance sheet for 2011 is a relationship that shows every sign of being a lengthy one. I have Match.com to thank for helping bring one Judy Caldeira into our lives. Judy is a CPA for Princess and Cunard cruise lines, which is headquartered a half hour away in Santa Clarita. I don’t have space to describe her or why we have such a good relationship, but I could mention that she’s never once complained about the dust or chaos here and even speaks eagerly about coming. And to see her tuck Jack in and listen patiently to him talk for fifteen minutes at the end of the day is worth so much. Last night I went in and found her laying on the bed while he talked away in the near dark. I am usually so tired at the end of the day that I usually just gave Jack a kiss and a hug and a quick “goodnight”, so Judy has shown the way. I am grateful to her for that and so much more. She likes the house and we have talked of her moving in one day, so stay tuned.
You can follow other events in the Brothers family through my (Quarterly?) blog at http://stan-n-jack.blogspot.com . I usually post a photo or two, so you can see Jack, Judy, the house and more.
That’s it. I did a quick proof of the letter and changed a few things. Seems I always find at least one typo/error after printing, but I have a long list of things to do today, so it is what it is.
Merry Christmas to all,
Stan & Jack

Lots of things to write about since my last (Quarterly?) post months ago. I hardly know where to start.

Jack's 3rd grade school year is coming along, maybe a little easier in some respects than 2nd, but just as difficult in others. He likes his teacher, and I do too, but she is all business. Lots of homework, of course. I've been pushing Jack to finish his latest book (some RL Stine of Goosebumps fame title), and get a book report done. It's 130 pages and he despaired of ever finishing it, but I think he's halfway through or more. The book report is due on Friday, so it will be a race to the finish.

People learn in different ways, so maybe I'll have to find a different way to teach Jack subtraction when you borrow numbers. We worked on it over the summer and on several occasions since, but still he forgets. I don't have any recollection of learning this subject. Maybe it is typical, but I think he'll need to do it every day for weeks in order to permanently imprint the process.

On the plus side, he has friends at school this year. Last year it took a while. I seem to be constantly looking for weekend playdates now. Another plus, Jack likes his karate class at the Y. Originally it was all ages, but I stopped by yesterday and it was just 5 or 6 kids. They all seemed to be having a great time, though.

I had hoped to finish the first bathroom remodel in July, but here it is October and it is still not done. Blame changes. I went in one direction, adding a partial wall, but then didn't like how the wall made the room seem cramped, ruining the visual lines. So major plumbing changes were in order, plus a different bathtub with left-hand drain instead of right, a new wall opened up and on and on. It's coming along, though. I will tile the floor on Saturday and should have the plumbing hooked up this week. The extra thick wall is creating a few issues or it would already be done. More plumbing changes were in order to allow the vanity to be moved 2 inches to the left. Simple stuff, you'd think, but when it comes to soldering pipe in cramped areas, ugh. Other issues came up when tiling--or prepping for tile. Lots of issues, actually, and when uncertainty creeps in, the whole process slows way down. Or stops for a week. I'm actually looking forward to the second bathroom remodel, when nothing will change in any substantial way. I can blitz through that one. Hold me to that.

I currently have no roof over half the house, and a solid, steel reinforced concrete block wall on one end of the living room is gone. All this is part of adding a second floor. Trusses were delivered yesterday, so the framers will probably start putting in a floor and building up soon. I'll post a few pictures as they do. Good thing I can live with chaos, because that's what it is around here. Dusty, noisy chaos. I juggle house work with housework and work and homework, and that's a good part of my life.

Speaking of good parts of my life, I am happy to say a wonderful girlfriend has emerged from all those Match.com coffee dates: Judy Caldeira (see photo above). She's a CPA with Princess Cruise Lines and a delight to be with in every way. To her vast credit she is comfortable just hanging with us in this dusty, chaotic house. She made some claim weeks ago about whipping me into shape organization-wise. That remains to be seen. Anyone capable of that should qualify for a major international prize. Winning a Nobel might be easier. Still, I'm a willing subject, so we shall see. Judy and Jack have begun a mutual love affair, so I plan on her being a part of our life for a long time to come. You can find more about her via her facebook pages.

I arose early to write this, but now will sign off, shower, prepare Jack's lunch and him for another day at school.

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Update 11/2

2nd floor joists are in place. Plumbing and electrical work between floors is underway...we had a fun Halloween night at Linda, Curtis and Charlies in Silverlake and a Halloween party Saturday night at the Helbergs. Always like to connect with our old Glenoaks neighbors...Some of you may know or remember my mother (Phyllis), now 90. She had a stroke and is recovering in a facility in Rome, NY. She's making progress, I'm told, so I hope she can return to the assisted living facility she's in. I'm glad I have siblings who are reasonably close to her, but I am overdue for a visit...

Good night