December 2011 (How's that for a creative heading?)

6 am in a house with no heat is a good way to start a Charles Dickens story, but a poor way to start a Christmas letter. Things worked out okay in A Christmas Carol, though, and I’m pretty sure things will work out okay for us eventually, too, despite the current travails that have come with adding a second floor to the house. In the meantime we huddle before the fireplace or stove, or drag around a portable heater (such as at my feet just now), and endure. And though the70mph winds on our hillside house were awful last week, ripping off limbs and the nailed down tarp covering our exposed second floor; and the rains have me up checking on large puddles in the tarp or placing buckets around the house, we haven’t had wind AND rain at the same time. I am thankful for that-- and for so much more. We’ll get a roof on the house in a week or two, a furnace a couple weeks after that. By summer we should have a mostly new house. That’s a dangerous prediction to make, so maybe I should say by next Christmas and play it safe. I am still finishing a bathroom that I thought would be done in July, so I should know. I DO know. Changes, uncertainty, work, homework, headaches, Jacktivities and a few other factors delayed me. That’s life. Life is change. One of my bigger changes is the likelihood that I will not be fixing up the house selling it after a few years and moving on. It now seems likely that we will be staying here, but more about that later.
Jack has been pretty patient through it all and can occupy himself for good periods of time, but he has definitely exceeded the American Pediatric Association’s guidelines for TV and video game time. I got the benefit of more work time, but what will the price be down the road? I hope it’s not too heavy. When I was his age I was heavily into comic books, Boys Life and a series of short, biographical books, but Jack is Jack. He is a reluctant reader unless it’s a book collection of Calvin and Hobbes. He can busy himself with Legos or doing nothing, but every half-hour I still hear “I’m hungry”. Every. Half. Hour.
When people ask me how Jack is doing, my pat answer is “Fine, as long as he has a playdate everyday and a constant stream of food”. Not having siblings and being a social animal, Jack always wants to be around people. I try to accommodate him on this, for it also gives me more time to work on the house. Those playdates tend to be on weekends or Friday afternoon because during the week he is either occupied with homework , karate class, or stays after school until 6 two days a week. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of time leftover. I don’t remember that much homework in 3rd grade, but then again it seems I don’t remember anything that well anymore. In any event, Jack was at a birthday ice skating party yesterday and had a good time despite some falls and tears at one point. He said he had a good time and I’m told he went back out on the ice a second time despite the tears. That’s a great metaphor: Life is hard, you cry, you get back up and keep going. Repeat a thousand times.
Jack’s latest report cards have been so-so in a few subjects, so I have begun a program of more homework and earlier bedtimes. I erred in letting Jack stay up later just because he seems to be a nightowl and awakes fairly easily. His teacher mentioned that he wasn’t staying focused in class, and one day Jack said he was “tired” in class. Bing! Lights went off in my head. So the earlier bedtime and daily grading on class participation and focus is helping. The last two days he got four 5 out of 5 ratings, so I’m encouraged. And whatever happens in class, Jack is still a caring, empathetic and happy soul who fills my heart in some way every day and everyway some days.
The year has seen some reverses, unfortunately. Mother entered an assisted living facility, had a stroke, and is now in the memory-impaired unit of the same facility. She’s 90 and had been doing pretty well up until the last year. She’s improved some since her stroke, and will keep improving, I hope.
Another setback was when sister- in-law Steph got a diagnosis of breast cancer. She has one more chemo session to endure, then radiation follows in a month or so. Regular exams helped catch the cancer at an early stage, so the prognosis is excellent. Steph says she doesn’t know how Andrea endured so many chemo sessions over the years and kept on working. I don’t either.
Compared to cancer and death, other “setbacks” seem trivial. And they are. Like the original construction schedule for our house called for most of the work to be done by Christmas. It’s not. Not even close. Stud walls went up just a couple days ago and still we have no roof, so obviously there’s a long way to go. I will finish the rooms upstairs once the contractor does his thing. Maybe by next Christmas I’ll be done. In the meantime, living with constant dust, rain buckets and a good part of our belongings stashed in piles of boxes is a tribulation, but one we can endure. In fact, compared to cancer or the problems other people around the world face daily, it’s a lark.
On the Plus side of the balance sheet for 2011 is a relationship that shows every sign of being a lengthy one. I have Match.com to thank for helping bring one Judy Caldeira into our lives. Judy is a CPA for Princess and Cunard cruise lines, which is headquartered a half hour away in Santa Clarita. I don’t have space to describe her or why we have such a good relationship, but I could mention that she’s never once complained about the dust or chaos here and even speaks eagerly about coming. And to see her tuck Jack in and listen patiently to him talk for fifteen minutes at the end of the day is worth so much. Last night I went in and found her laying on the bed while he talked away in the near dark. I am usually so tired at the end of the day that I usually just gave Jack a kiss and a hug and a quick “goodnight”, so Judy has shown the way. I am grateful to her for that and so much more. She likes the house and we have talked of her moving in one day, so stay tuned.
You can follow other events in the Brothers family through my (Quarterly?) blog at http://stan-n-jack.blogspot.com . I usually post a photo or two, so you can see Jack, Judy, the house and more.
That’s it. I did a quick proof of the letter and changed a few things. Seems I always find at least one typo/error after printing, but I have a long list of things to do today, so it is what it is.
Merry Christmas to all,
Stan & Jack